Now Accepting Genius Grants

I used to watch this show called "Flying Blind." It was completely brilliant, and it was on Fox about fifteen years ago. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Blind My best friend at the time, Michael, and I would watch it ever week and I loved, loved loved the main character, Alicia (played by Tea Leoni). But like all my favorite Fox shows (Arrested Development), it got canned because there were only 14 or so of us who could see the utter brillance. Okay, so on "FB," the character Jordan just hung out all day doing nothing, and finally Neil (Alicia's nerdy boyfriend, star of the show) just asked Jordan what exactly was it that he did. Jordan looked at him kinda funny and just said, "You mean you don't know? This! This is what I do!" and pointed to himself, lounging on the couch in his bathrobe in the middle of the day.

So, of course, Neil goes on about how in the world can he do "this," and Jordan explains that he has a genius grant. Neil is astonished! Jordan is a genius?! And so Jordan replies, "Well, I was that one night in bed with the woman who gave out the grants!"

So, I've decided that I need a genius grant. I'm not so much into my job lately, which doesn't really pay all that much and gets in the way of Pilates and knitting anyway. I found a passel of new projects that I want to make, and they're all expensive. So between the $$ and the time, I need a genius grant. Or I need to win the lottery. What is that about not winning if you don't play? Hmmm...they might be on to something. And why is it that everyone who talks about wanting to win the lottery never actually buys lottery tickets?! I'm buying a lottery ticket tomorrow! I'm sure you can't buy them on Sunday in Idaho. You can't even buy beer until 10 am...speaking of, there was a guy in line behind me this morning at the grocery store, buying beer at 10:01 in the a.m. I totally cracked up!

Okay, so the stuff I want to make (and I feel totally justified because I have just finished the Ooops du Jour AND the Sunrise Circle Jacket...more on those later). First, up, the Somewhat Cowl by Wendy Bernard. Love, love, love the design, the fact that it's knit in the round, the yarn, everything! A must-do, and soon! Am wondering if I can get away with knitting during my MBA 610 class, given that it's over a video feed? Hmmm....

Okay, and then the gorgeous Coachella, which made me gasp the first time I saw it on knitty.com. It's the cutest thing ev-ah, and I think the design is totally smart-hot. Love it! And I have some great nubby cotton-silk in my stash that'll be perfect.

I just found this one today and about died. It's the Ellie Sweater from Rowan, and knit in super-bulky yarn. I'm hoping that I can do it in brown instead of black. Isn't it delicious? Can't you just see me strutting around Park City next February at Sundance, being mobbed by Paris Hilton because she's so freaking cold she'd kill me for it? Can't you see me stradding the couch like this model (well, as soon as I get all the magazines and ironing and stuff out of the way), being ravished by my stud-muffin of a husband?

And then the Union Square Market Jacket, that I remember loving but not realizing that it was a Kate Gilbert design until last week when I was trolling for new patterns. I have say, I think she's an amazing designer. Amazing! I think I might save this one for a vacation to Greece next summer.

So there you have my little wish list. If you have a grant or want to be a yarn sugar-daddy, sign me up!